Permanent Vacation, Part 2

Well, so much for my plan to go on permanent vacation. This has to be one of the worst holidays that I've ever taken! The idea works on weekends, or actual vacation time (imagine that--vacation is actually like vacation). Maybe even on walks or little side trips the whole delusion is plausible. The thing is, I just can't make work seem like a vacation.

My dream job is to be a tropical gardener. Unfortunately, the going rate for tropical gardening is about $150 a month where I live. That is no vacation.

This photo is the beginnings of one of my current garden projects. The area behind the woven fence is a secret hideout for the kids. As they get older, we'll gradually build it into a fort. The plants in the grass are all recently planted cuttings. Within a few months, they will be tall enough that they will make the scary forest that you have to pass through to get to the hideout. There is a painted cement frog next to the gate to keep guard, and we'll add some gnomes, birds and other statues as we find the right ones.

Bamboo poles line the path before and after the gate until you get in the very back, at the corner of the wall. The gate is the side of the crib that both of them refused to use, even as babies. They enjoy it much more as a door to keep everyone out than they did when it was a door to keep them in.

So far, their favorite hideout activity is to go inside and then yell at anyone who walks into the yard. They don't think that you can tell who is yelling, since you can't see them (you can). I'm pretty sure that they make fun of me and call me names in a combination of filipino, visayan, spanish, and baby talk.They know better than to call me names in English ;). Chris and Alexa figured out pretty quickly that dad is monolingual and take advantage of it accordingly. I spend about 10 minutes trying to find them, and then when i finally do, they start laughing uncontrollably. Then i go away and we repeat our act from the beginning. I'll admit that i'm extremely jealous of anyone who can be that entertained that easily. It's a pretty contagious state of mind, and i'm grateful that they are willing to share it.

The Secret Hideout

permanent vacation

Some aspects of home life have been a little bit challenging lately (major euphemism alert!) On Sunday morning, I got a short reprieve when everyone went to church, leaving me alone at home. As I showered, I had a sense of being on vacation. After daydreaming about how nice it feels to be on a really long vacation, I decided that I was going to spend the day on vacation.

I had rented a room in a sort of guest house. There were some other vacationers staying at my guest house, but they weren't much bother. A couple of nice kids were also guests, and they let me play with them every once in a while. The owners even let me work in the garden all day.

I have to admit that everything seemed much nicer. I walked a few times with Alexa and Christopher (the kids staying at my guest house) and did some touristy gawking around the neighborhood where i'm staying. Videokes, Baklas (gay transvestites), outdoor restaurants, men urinating against walls, stray dogs, security guards--you name it, we saw it.

By Monday, I forgot that I was on vacation and had a normal, not-as-good-as-being-on-vacation day. Tuesday was a last minute holiday (really), but I again forgot that I was on vacation.

I'm going to see if I can turn my life into a vacation. Or maybe a working holiday, since I will actually still have to work. Sure, you could call it escapism. Sure, maybe I'll forget which life is real and end up being a guy who insists that everyone partake in his delusion. But, it's worth the chance, I think.

Toward the end of my vacation day, I was sitting in a spot under a mango tree. Above the back wall, I could see a tall palm tree. That palm tree always gives me a little nudge that reminds me that I really am on vacation.

Running Away to Join the Circus

I never really understood why anyone would want to run away to join the circus until I was too old to learn circus tricks. I'm not sure how you go about getting into the circus business these days, but we have been practicing in case the opportunity presents itself. I want my kids to have choices in life that I was deprived of having. I'll bet they give free tickets to parents!

**October 2011, just over a year later. I miss those little monkeys. Luckily they've just grown into bigger, but still awesome, little monkeys.

Alexa and Christopher in Circus Training

Sorry, Zac

Sorry, Zac Efron. I spelled your name wrong in the last post.

You probably think that my clumsiness with a name as famous as yours proves how easy it will be for you to come waltzing in and take my wife and daughter. Well, sorry, Zac, but I'm coming after you. Step one--get rid of beard.

First photo taken in class on Friday. Second photo taken after official declaration of war on Zac Efron.

Before War on Zac

Ready for War on Zac

Zach Efron Must Go!

Today Alexa and Christopher came home from church with big balloons in the shape of a horse and Sponge Bob's pal Patrick (my favorite cartoon character). It surprised me that Alexa suddenly lost interest in her balloon and ran to her bedroom shouting 'watch! watch!'

Alexa made it just in time to see the opening state basketball title game scene from High School Musical. She kept cooing and pointing at Zach Efron every time that he appeared in close-up. She wasn't using words that I know, but it was pretty obvious that Alexa has a serious crush on this guy.

Then the movie cuts to the party after the big game. As soon as Zach's black haired teen princess came on screen, Alexa jumped up and down yelling 'mommy! mommy!' The thought of Alexa fawning over Zach Efron for the next 16 years is bad enough, but the fantasies of Zach falling in love with her mother and running away to begin their real life really kicked me where it hurts most.

Why don't I remind her of Zach? (said with a combination of jealousy and relief)
The only positive aspect of the whole sad situation is that Alexa has learned to tell time about 3 years ahead of schedule. She got tired of depending on us to provide Zach alerts and took it upon herself to figure out the whole clock thing.

First, a photo of Alexa transfixed on her crush during the big game scene, followed by Zach and me at my Zachiest (sigh).

Alexa and her Crush Zac

Zac Efron

Will 'Zac' Gayhart